Sunday Morning ~ The Naked Chicken

Linda mphepo iombe kuti uone maliseche a nkhuku. ~ Wait for the wind to blow for you to see the nakedness of the chicken. 

~ Chewa proverb

November 8, 2020

Hi Everyone,

What  beautiful morning. I feel like the house has landed with a jolt and we are stepping out into a colorful new world. Like so many others, I feel like I can breathe again. I feel a weight lifted off, as if I’ve been pinned under a rock with a life-threatening injury. The injury is still there, but at least I can move, assess the damage, get treatment, and start to heal now. That’s what this world seems like to me today. 

What a high tension week; I felt like I was jumping out of my skin. My friends in various parts of the world started sending messages on Tuesday. Many said they were praying for us. It was truly a testament of how American leadership has been missed. I believe in the power of prayer and was buoyed by their kind words. It was snowing on Tuesday as I read them. I wondered about the symbolism, caught in an episode of magical thinking. Was it a sign of  whitewashing the past four years? Or was it the ice queen speaking? I shook my head and tried to stay present. I told myself, “This type of symbolism is the whim of authors in novels and fantasy stories.” But, being a winter lover, the snow gave me a good feeling. It was pretty and distracting. It was surrender, like going in to take an important test. Having studied as much possible, there is nothing left but to do the best you can. It’s a panicky sort of relief. Throughout Tuesday I checked for reports of violence but heard none. That was very good. I felt better as the day went on. I went for a walk with a friend in the snow. I stopped to buy milk. I tried not to perseverate on the feeling I had election day 2016 recalling photos of women putting their “I Voted” stickers on the grave of Susan B Anthony.

The day passed and the evening came and we all know how that went. I knew the polls could be off, but how many times had I dismissed the polls when they weren’t in my favor then lived to see them be spot on? I’d been reassured but realistic throughout the campaign, especially in the close races. I knew the Maine senate seat was not going to be easy. Then Florida went down, not unexpected, but I couldn’t take anymore. The thought of that state going underwater with seniors living without services sent me into a panic. I couldn’t watch or listen. I went to bed and fell asleep instantly. Denial. I’ve been there before. When I knew my husband was having an affair but didn’t want to face it, I slept. It’s a relief. Tuesday evening I felt like the rock I was pinned under would kill me after all. As much as I was trying to keep myself alive under there and believed the rescue team would come, it seemed I was not going to make it. I woke and I did not look at the news in the morning. As long as I didn’t look there was still hope. I repressed the fact that I lived in a country where half the people voted for this travesty every time it bubbled to the surface. It was more than I could bear. I made tea and puttered in the kitchen. A pandemic and fascism? No. I couldn’t cope with that right then. My son was here (thank God) and bopped into the kitchen, smiling with a spring in his step. I looked at him as he pulled out the coffee beans and asked, “What? What happened?”  After he ground the coffee he said, “Oh, I’m feeling good. Biden’s got this. He’s ahead now in Michigan.” as he shook them into the pot. 

I nearly collapsed with relief. The rock was being lifted!!

After that moment I did not question a Biden win. I knew there’d be drama but was absolutely sure he had this. The rescue team was on it’s way. Yes, I was discouraged by how close it had to be. Yes I was very worried about the senate, but all that was fleeting. But having been so close to the abyss, I felt unadulterated elation, like finding your toddler alive and playing after he’d been missing in a Chuck-E-Cheese. Since then I’ve been disappointed and confused by finger pointing and blaming about the closeness of this race and how far off the polls were. I see it differently. My feeling is that with the sustained sabotage, the voter suppression, the blatant cheating, the Russian interference, the Iranian interference, the deep history of racism in this country, the gerrymandering, the disinformation, after all that, ALL THAT, we still came out on top. This is the predicted landslide in my opinion. If we can take Georgia and Arizona with this handicap, holy hell it was a landslide. Yes. And when the wind blows on that chicken, I suspect we’ll see we gained much more. 

Congratulations everyone. I am so proud to be a part of this. I am ready to roll up my sleeves and get to work. There are so many more rocks to move.

Love to all,

Linda